Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
