I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
