i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room