She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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