i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
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Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder