I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize