I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
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Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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