dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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