Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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