sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
