its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i barfeds in our rink
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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