Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
