He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
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I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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