mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
