So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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