I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I party with great urgency now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize