Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.

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(925): View more from California

I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.

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(703): View more from Virginia

She's allergic to latex.

(678): View more from Georgia

Lucky bastard.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be

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(586): View more from Michigan

somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car

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(519): View more from Ontario

I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?

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