Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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