just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
did i walk over a car last night?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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