Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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