Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just come out here and I will go home with you...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
home. puking in laundry basket.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
