I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
