Non-Jews are for practice
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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