I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
