thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
