she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
