Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize