i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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