we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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