I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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