WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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