I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
