He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
