Dude my mom stole all your condoms
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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