I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We were destined to go to rehab together
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
