some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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