I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
