You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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