Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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