It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
