just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
