susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
