We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
