My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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