I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
