Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
