At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
