yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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