8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
