I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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