So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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