My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
