I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
