i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
