Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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