That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
