whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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