this will be a night to untag.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
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