You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
