1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
