It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
