do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
