When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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