well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
