i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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