The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
